Poly and Jealousy – Part Two

July 16, 2014 § Leave a comment

Got to explain to another person this morning that “I get jealous” does NOT mean that person can’t do poly, it means they’re human.

Which is not to say everyone can do poly, just that jealousy is hardly a deal breaker, in fact it’s something that most polys are working through all the time, processing jealousy like we process other emotional reactions.

Pointing out that we are taught that other negative emotions are normal and can be dealt with, all except jealousy. If you can’t handle your anger, we send you to anger management. If you can’t handle your fear, a therapist will help you work through it. If you can’t handle your sadness, we’ll give you some pills.
But if you get jealous? Yeah, better just avoid that entirely. No need to learn to process that emotion like you need to learn to process all the others.
The look on his face when it clicked was awesome, though. In fact, when I started my litany, HE was the one who said, “And if you’re sad, here’s a pill!” Yup, exactly.

It’s so ingrained, it never occurs to people that you can just process jealousy like you can process anger or any other emotion that’s causing problems in your life. But it makes me happy when people can see it once it’s pointed out.

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