Not All Feminists

July 16, 2014 § Leave a comment

I kinda want to stat a new thing: Not All Feminists.
I avoided that moniker for, well, a couple of decades, because the very vocal, visible minority of Feminists in the 80s and 90s are where the stereotype of ball-busting, man-hating, un-feminine,  lift up women at the expense of men Feminists came from, and that was my childhood and my adolescence, and that’s what I thought feminism was.

It’s not.

When I call myself a “feminist,” it’s because “humanist who happens to be female so women’s issues are going to resonate more strongly with me” takes too long. And people who know me well know this. But people who don’t know me so well sometimes read my feminist writings with ball-busting feminist colored glasses, and misunderstandings happen.

So I’m left with two choices: try to start a new term that fits the type of feminist me, my friends, and my favorite columnists and bloggers are, or say “Fuck you male-bashers who give us all a bad name, I’m taking it back!”

Well, considering I’ve had two strong, intelligent women tell me in the past week how much they’ve learned about feminism from me, as well as having had several men thank me for showing them that feminists can be supportive of men, sex positive, and feminine, I’ve chosen the “Fuck you, I’m taking it back” route.

So I submit to you #NotAllFeminists:

All penis-in-vagina sex is rape?
I happen to enjoy sex with men. A lot. Like a whole lot.

Reverse sexism jokes are OK because it’s backlash against years of oppression?
“Reverse sexism” isn’t a thing. Sexism is sexism, regardless of the gender being made fun of. Either they’re all OK or none of them are.

Stay at home moms should go out and get jobs?
Stay at home moms *have* jobs, they do things you pay others to do as *thier* jobs without question.

Stay at home dads are deadbeats?
I can’t think of anything more feminist than a stay at home dad. They are the embodiment of equality and breaking gender roles.

Rape is a men vs women issue?
Many surveys and studies over the years show that roughly 1 in 4 men will be the victims of non-consensual sex acts, and most of those will be committed by women.

Wearing makeup and pretty things and sexy things is buying into the male establishment and we shouldn’t do it?
How is you dictating how women should dress so much better than the male establishment doing it? Wear what you want, don’t wear what you want, the point is *choice.*

Being anything other than a career woman is betraying your fellow feminists?
See above, it should be about personal freedom of choice. If I want to be a CEO, a stay at home mom, a dancer, a porn star, a welder, a rich housewife,  a butcher a baker a candlestick maker these can all be feminist options if it’s what you really want.

Feel free to add to this list. 🙂


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