Men get raped too
July 16, 2014 § Leave a comment
Something a friend said in conversation got me thinking:
“odd – it doesn’t seem like I’d call it rape, but then I reversed the genders and I’m not so sure.”
And the conversation wasn’t originally about rape, and the similar stories I brought up that I’ve heard from a few guy friends (no names were used) were to make a completely different point, but the more I thought about it, the more it upset me.
Because if I told any one of these guys, “He undid my pants so fast and just mounted me and it was kinda creepy and I didn’t really want to, but it wasn’t date rape because I kinda went along with it,” they’d be out for blood.
The sad fact is, even I had to reverse the genders myself, to realize, no, it wasn’t “almost like date rape,” it *was* date rape, but even men seem to think that a woman can’t *really* rape a man, unless there were drugs or toys or bondage involved.
It generally boils down to the fact that the man has to be erect. But just because the guy is hard, doesn’t automatically mean he wants to have sex. And once hard, friction and biology often take care of the rest.
Again, reverse the genders. If a guy said that every time a girl is really enjoying making out and is getting turned on, it means she wants to have sex right then and he doesn’t need to get consent he can just pull off her pants and stick it on in, you’d lambast him for being a misogynistic date rapist.
So, why does it seem like less of a big deal if a woman makes out with a guy and pulls down his pants and hops on his erection without getting consent?
Consent is consent, and you’d better be damn sure you have it before making use of *anyone’s* erection. Because if you don’t, that’s called rape.