How to get girls to like you

July 16, 2014 § Leave a comment

A lot of guys like to ask the question, “How do I get girls to like me?” The only real answer to this is, “Become the sort of guy girls like.” From there you can establish what kind of girls you’re interested in, what kind of guys they’re attracted to, and figure out what changes you can make in your life to become that.

But the more common response to that answer is, “But how do I get them to like me for me?” The problem with this question is that you’re not asking how to change yourself, you’re asking how to change *them.* How do I “get” them to like me for exactly how I am right now. This tends to be accompanied by a lot of victim mentality, girls are doing you wrong by not wanting you just for you. But frankly the notion that any member of my gender you happen to be attracted to should change herself to meet your wants doesn’t make me feel very sympathetic.

The only person you can change is yourself, so, “How do I get girls to like me for me?”, unless you’re also willing to make meaningful change, realizing that said change won’t change your core being, doesn’t work. You have to pick a side of the equation and make your changes accordingly.

Chances are, there are already girls who like you for you, you probably even know who some of them are, but you’re just not attracted to them. But if your priority is to have a girl who likes you for you, as you are, then you would need to find a way to be attracted to those that do. After all, what you were earlier asking is how to get girls to be attracted to you, and of it’s so easy to change one’s attraction, then surely you can do so?

If your priority, however, is to get the girls *you* are attracted to, then you need to find out what those girls are attracted to, and make changes in your own life to be more in line with that.
If you can’t stand the kind of guy the kind of girl you’re attracted to is interested in, then there’s something you need to examine about yourself. Are you trying to date women who you are physically attracted to, but wouldn’t actually work personality wise? In which case, you’re the one being shallow, not them. If you find the men they like so abhorrent, what makes you think you’d like the women, either?

Either way, your choices lie in how to change yourself, not how to “get” them to change what they’re attracted to. If you don’t like the way things are, the only thing you can change is you.

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